This post is in response to Poetry Challenge sponsored by Jane Dougherty. This is my first attempt for this poetry form. I also decided to translate my first attempt of this poetry form to my mother tongue, Assamese, a major Indian language spoken by the people from the northeastern Indian state of Assam.
Opened my eyes to dawn’s beautiful streaming light
Memories of the first dawn with you breaks my heart
So many things we said on that morning long forgotten
Words that remained unspoken, today breaks my heart
Many miles we walked that day at the crack of dawn
The steps we did not take together, breaks my heart
So much we planned on that beautiful dawn
What we forgot to plan, today breaks my heart
Laughter and songs filled our life that blissful dawn
Dawn today is silent without you, it breaks my heart
প্ৰভাতী সুৰযৰ ৰাঙলী কিৰণত মেলিলো নয়ন দুটি
তোমাৰ লগত প্ৰথম প্ৰভাতৰ স্মৃতিত অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত কথা কৈছিলো দুৰ অতীতৰ সেই প্ৰভাতত
যি কথা নহল কোৱা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত দুৰ বাট বুলিছিলো অতীতৰ সেই দোকমোকালিত
যি পথ নহল লোৱা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত পৰিকল্পনা ভৱিষ্যতৰ সেই সুমধুৰ প্ৰভাতত
যি কথা নহল ভাবা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
সেই সুন্দৰ প্ৰভাতৰ হাঁহি আৰু গানে ভৰা জীৱনৰ স্মৃতি
তুমি নাইকিয়া আজি নিৰ্জন পুৱা, অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
Fleeting Muse 
It’s a beautiful poem, exactly the right tone for a ghazal. If you want it to come out closer to the strict definition, there should be an internal rhyme on the last word before the refrain through out the poem ie the word before ‘breaks my heart’ should rhyme in each couplet. I didn’t say the ghazal is a hellishly difficult form for nothing 🙂
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😣😣
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I read your poem again and now I see what you mean.
Never was I blind before,
I was always kind before.
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I’m useless at following rules. Doing these prompts has comforted me that I’m not the only one 🙂
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😀😀😀makes me feel good.
I love to hear ghazal being sung. But writing, my heart shuddered with fear.
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I bet the European rules are adapted for the different way our families of language are structured. You stick to your song form. I bet it’s beautiful 🙂
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I like to hear, as for rules, first time I had any idea was from your post. So there goes my claim to expertise😀
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There are always if not rules, guidelines, a rhythm, a beat, a refrain. The rest of it is probably open to interpretation and adaptation.
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Thanks.
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Am sorry , I stopped reading after “Assamese” (What , he is from Axom?), am bad understanding poetry anyways 😦
Ki khobor dada ?? Your name always reminds me of axom , pranab from axom 😀
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😀😀😀took a long time, didn’t it? Who else, except one from Axom, love the one horned rhino that much.
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Magnificent. This touched my heart. Thank you for sharing and for visiting my blog. Blessings!
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Thank you so much for the kind words.
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