My first attempt at this poetry form sponsored by (Jane : Ghazal Challenge) failed in following the rules. Updating the poem to try to follow the rules as closely as possible. Updated the translation to Assamese also.
This post is in response to Poetry Challenge sponsored by Jane Dougherty. This is my first attempt for this poetry form. I also decided to translate my first attempt of this poetry form to my mother tongue, Assamese, a major Indian language spoken by the people from the northeastern Indian state of Assam.
Opened my eyes to dawn’s beautiful streaming light,
Memories of the first mesmerizing dawn, today breaks my heart.
So many things we said on that morning long forgotten
Words that remained unspoken, today breaks my heart.
Many miles we walked that day at the crack of dawn
Steps that were not taken, today breaks my heart.
So much we planned on that beautiful dawn
What we forgot to plan, today breaks my heart.
Laughter and songs filled our life that blissful dawn
Without you silent is the dawn, today breaks my heart.
প্ৰভাতী সুৰযৰ ৰাঙলী কিৰণত মেলিলো নয়ন দুটি
তোমাৰ লগত প্ৰথম প্ৰভাতৰ স্মৃতি, অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত কথা কৈছিলো দুৰ অতীতৰ সেই প্ৰভাতত
যি কথা নহল কোৱা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত দুৰ বাট বুলিছিলো অতীতৰ সেই দোকমোকালিত
যি পথ নহল লোৱা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
কত পৰিকল্পনা ভৱিষ্যতৰ সেই সুমধুৰ প্ৰভাতত
যি কথা নহল ভাবা তাকে ভাবি অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
সেই সুন্দৰ প্ৰভাতৰ হাঁহি আৰু গানে ভৰা জীৱনৰ স্মৃতি
আজি নিৰ্জন পুৱা নাইকিয়া তুমি, অন্তৰ দু:খিত অতি
Sad and beautiful. Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely poem with its beautiful, sad refrain. Great job writing this in two languages. I imagine translating poetry that has to follow rules is very difficult!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the kind words.
It was somewhat difficult. I took some liberty in translating, keeping the meaning and emotions same as the original.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I imagine you would have to do it that way with poetry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a beautiful poem. Don’t change it or try to make it fit rules that it was not intended to follow 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
As, I ultimately did follow the rules. Atleast majority of them. 😣
Thanks for introducing me to this beautiful form.
LikeLike
I hope you’ll write many more ghazals 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀😀😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Aji Mor hiya bhagi parise” perhaps would have been better in place of “antar duhkhita ati”…sorry I don not have the software to write Assamese script.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ধন্যবাদ। I use swiftkey in my cell phone. It has built in Assamese keyboard.
Will check your suggestion.
Thanks for the visit.
LikeLike
Perhaps ” Antar diuhkhito ati” may be replaced by ” Aji mor hiya bhagi parise”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks again.
LikeLike
Nice work. Keep writing. Don’t let Assamese literature to be fossil in coming days
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the kind words and thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
Sure bro.pleasure
LikeLiked by 1 person