In a month’s time it’s time for the wedding
No, not mine, my old country I am visiting
But the happy occasion is turning to a bad dream
My better half wants to see me fit and thin
To the store she goes and shirts she brings
That are not for me but for people trim and slim
I can fit into those only in my dream
Every ounce of my body fat is shamed and screams
Oh, how I have dreamt of good food and sweets
Now it will only turn to month long fight to be fit
Madly I hope my bottle of water will turn to a magic drink
One gulp of the magic potion and voila, I shrink
With sinking hurt and a feeling of doom, the slim fit shirts I button
Over the protest of my tortured body and protruding belly button
Dread the day when one extra sweet and my shirt flies open
Oh genie, where art thou when I need the thinning boon
****************************************
Pants, that’s for another time
Time to get up from my rear end
And get my drink of water and lime
Lest I am stuck to the chair, unable to bend
Lol! You go enjoy the wedding!!!
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If I have clothes that fit. 😢
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Tell wife not to buy… you go shopping yourself!
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I am a lazy bum. I hate shopping. When I was young, my eldest brother (bless his soul) used to buy clothes for me, after marriage my wife buys for me.
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Well then… you’ll just have to put up with her misjudged sizes… !!!
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☺☺
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Think of how much you’ll be able to stuff yourself at the wedding if you slim down now. Either that or buy yourself some clothes a size too large 🙂
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None of the options seem appetizing, that’s why I would have preferred to visit O’naturelle restaurant in Paris.☺
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You’d be on your own though. I’m not sure that’s an option that’s allowed when you’re invited to a wedding 🙂
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I will be thrown out immediately if I even dare to propose it, but it would have saved me from trying the expensive propositions of thinning down or changing my wardrobe.
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🙂 Bite the bullet.
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I stay away from all kind of violence so no bullet☺
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and I hope all bullets stay away from you 🙂
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