I wrote this poem over a span of one month. As the poem is long , I shall post it in parts every Friday. It’s a poem about love but some may find the content semi-erotic. Lest their finer senses be disturbed, be aware and proceed at your own risk
Introduction
Thirty six years back, on a hot summer night I left my home and boarded a train to my alma mater in Varanasi, India on my way to a land and future unknown. With lots of dream in my eyes and a nearly empty pocket, with a passport and visa on hand, I left the comfort of a secure job for an uncertain future.
That I will write something, that too poetry, was furthest from my mind on that day. Fast forward thirty years, I was writing poems, had a blog going and before I knew it six years have passed. However I was restless. I just couldn’t sit still for hours on and keep on writing. So my poems were short, some really short. I was even afraid to attempt to write short stories. Then the pandemic happened and the world turned on its head. Who thought that people would be stuck in their homes for months with nowhere to go, basically grounded by a microscopic virus.
Through all the sufferings and loss, people coped with the situation in their own way. At the end of November of 2020, I sat down to attempt writing a long poem with a consistent theme. I kept at it for nearly four weeks, writing atleast a stanza every day. The result was a poem in six parts with fifty three stanzas and nearly five thousand five hundred words with a prologue and an epilogue.
Now came the hard part. I was sure that this long poem would need editing before being published. Editing was not my forte. So first I requested my daughter, who had a knack for writing, to read and edit the poem, but when I discussed with her the theme of the poem she refused. Maybe she felt that I lost my nuts. I then approached my eldest son to review and edit. After much hemming and hawing, he did few stanzas and then he stopped. There it languished for more than six months till I decided today to post it in parts, couple of stanzas every week on Fridays for next few weeks.
So, here it is. I start with the prologue and from next Friday will start with the first two stanzas of part I. Appreciate my readers constructive criticism.
Prologue
The voice was mellifluous;
The magic was still there;
Maybe age had softened it a little;
A little tired, little sad,
But the first “Hello, Love”,
Lit the fiery passion in my heart,
A fire that was kept well hidden,
Dormant for so long;
Blood rushed to my head,
I wanted to shout with joy,
Words rushing choked my throat,
Wanted to hug her hard,
And smother her with warm kisses,
But before I could say a word,
The voice from the past
Whispered in my ears,
Love of mine, keeper of my
Heart and soul,
Did you guard my youth well;
Because today I have come
To ask it back,
To recreate the magic of eons ago,
When on a meadow far away
As the sun set, and
Under a moonlit sky,
Inhibitions were shed,
Lust vanquished,
Passion calmed,
Love reigned,
I gave myself to you,
Carried you in me always,
A flower blossomed,
And we became one.
[December 17, 2020]
© Pranabendra Sarma 2021
Oh, finally you decided to share your long love poem with the world! I still say, you should print it.
Congratulations, it was a labor of love, wasn’t it?
You should also, work on the other series, “The Panshala”.
Regards,
Jebeen
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Thank you. Print?
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I’m carried along by the language, which is full of passion, but I can’t quite situate when the poem is set, whose is the voice from the past and why the sudden wild change from the fire that had lain dormant for so long to blaze with passion. The ‘But’ that forms the hinge of the two parts suggests a menace to the new-found bliss. There’s no title to give an indication of what the poem is about, to set a tone and expectations. That would help, but I think a prologue has to say something very clearly that’s important in the understanding of what follows. I’d be tempted to tweak it a bit so the meaning is clearer.
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Hello Jane,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Really appreciate.
The title is “From Vault of Memories Past”. It is already in the Title block. Should I put that again after Introduction preceding Prologue.
I hope “whose” voice from the past will be clear as we progress through the poem.
When I started seven months back I never thought that it would end up being five thousand five hundred word long poem. Prior to this I had not written anything exceeding few hundred words at best. I was apprehensive that if I post the whole poem at one go no one would read.
I hope you read the next parts and let me know your comments. Really appreciate.
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Of course I’ll read it! You’ll have to tell me when it’s posted though as I don’t get notifications anymore. Computer problem rather than WP I think.
Did you think of making this into a story rather than a poem?
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I shall post every Friday my time (PDT).
I am still afraid of writing stories as I find it difficult to sit and write for long. My mind digress. I have written a few in my mother tongue Axomiya (Assamese) recentlyand posted on Facebook.
Poetry comes naturally. Prior to smartphones, thousands may have died in my head. So I am thankful for modern technology for my poems😀.
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You’d find it easier if you were to get engrossed, but it would depend on whether you’re a natural story writer or not. Poetry and prose are so different.
I’ll check on Fridays then.
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Thanks Jane.
Don’t forget you are eight hours ahead of us, so sometimes it may be your Saturday (though I am assuming that you won’t be getting up at the middle of the night to read my poem😀😀).
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Ha ha! No, I won’t. If I have the good luck to get off to sleep, I try and stay that way until a decent hour of the morning.
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Pranab, thank you for highlighting your labour of love to me!
I am truly encouraged to read more after that first snippet that you have written.
Could it end up being an accompaniment to a full-length story?
Intriguing!
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Thanks Ritu.
Appreciate it so much.
Hope you will have the patience to read the other parts on coming Fridays.
Jane also asked me if it was a part of a story. Unfortunately no, atleast not at this moment.
I really had issues with sitting down and writing long pieces that I was trying to overcome. This poem was the first serious attempt.
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With this as a base I think you could carve a narrative out, as fiction! Each stanza could open a new chapter!
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Hope I can do it.
It took a toll on me just thinking about posting the poem on my blog😀.
Took me a month to write the poem. Not sure how long the story will take.
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Think of your poem as your plan…
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That’s a thought.
Thanks. Appreciate the support.
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The reverie from the place you
once called your abode is vivid. Well done
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Thanks.
Hope you have the patience to revisit for few coming Fridays.😀
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I surely will 😊
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🙏🙏
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