Feelings of the Heart – a ghazal?

I wrote this ghazal in my mother tongue Axomiya (Assamese) yesterday and tried to translate it to Hindi. After a few futile attempts, I gave up as I just could not maintain the rhythm. Today I tried translating it to English and found that it was flowing much more smoothly though I should not call it a ghazal. I tried to follow the rules as closely as I could but not sure if I succeeded. Hence the question mark in the title. I post the poems in the order written.

Searching for Stars

I wrote this poem today morning in my mother tongue Assamese (Axomiya) and then translated to English. Original Axomiya poem is posted below the English translation.

Searching for stars,
Oblivious,
I was lost
In the expanse
Of the deep blue sky;

Unknown to me
Through the open window
You entered my heart,
And became the
Star of my sky;

If you ventured to come,
Why didn’t
Close the window
Behind you;
Who knew that
The twinkling star
Would burn so hot;

Today I am searching
For a little
Moon light,
To sooth my
Scorched heart,
Burnt by agony of loss;

Window to my heart
Is closed shut now,
I don’t search for stars
In the expanse
Of the deep blue sky
Anymore.

তৰাৰ সন্ধানত

মইতো আপোন পাহৰা হৈ
বিলীন হৈ গৈছিলো‍ঁ
নীলিম গগণত,
তৰাৰ সন্ধানত;
অজানিতে মোৰ
খোলা খিড়িকীৰে
হৃদয় আকাশত
কৰিলা প্ৰবেশ,
মোৰ কলিজাৰ
তৰা হৈ;
আহিছিলাই যদি
নিদিলা কিয়
বন্ধ কৰি
খিড়িকীখন,
কোনে জানিছিল
তিৰেবিৰাই থকা তৰাটিৰ,
উত্তাপ হ’ব ইমান তীব্ৰ,
আজি বিচাৰি ফুৰিছোঁ মই
এধানি জোনাক,
হেৰাই যোৱাৰ বেদনাত
জ্বলি পুৰি চাৰখাৰ হৈ যোৱা
হৃদয়ত
প্ৰলেপ দিবলৈ;
নকৰোঁ আৰু ম‌ই
তৰাৰ সন্ধান
অসীম নীলিমত,
বন্ধ কৰি থলো মোৰ
হৃদয়ৰ জপনাখন।

Ethereal Enchantress

This poem was first written in Assamese (Axomiya, my mother tongue) and I translated it to English today. The original poem is attached below the English version.

Ethereal Enchantress

 

Oh my ethereal muse,

Your shadow dances across

the mirror of my imagination.

Crossing the boundary of dreams,

Life – A Unique Feeling

I was sitting on the breakfast table with my first cup of coffee in hand. My wife was on the phone with her sister, visiting my eighty plus mother-in-law. Physically they were some ten thousand miles apart but modern technology had made it easier to stay connected. They were discussing how to make it easier for my fiercely independent but increasingly feisty mother-in-law navigate the impending two weeks long lock down to be implemented in a couple of days to combat increasing cases of COVID -19. Bits and pieces of their conversation that I overheard resulted in my mind digress from the cup of coffee in my hand. Result, a cup of cold coffee and the random thoughts below.  I wrote the poem in my mother tongue Axomiya (Assamese) first and then translated to English now. Here the order is in reverse.

Life -A Unique Feeling

Because no straight lines in nature,

Life to tread a tortuous path?

Does it make any sense?

 

*****

Day I learnt to measure life

In terms of material wealth,

Life became worthless.

 

*****

To make one understand my desire, not my responsibility. 

Expecting everyone to understand me,

Foolishness or  my audacity?

 

*****

Past and future unknown mystery, in between treads life,

Tomorrow everyone will go their own way,

For the ephemeral moment, why the illusory attachment?

জীৱন – এটা অনুভূতি

প্ৰকৃতিত  হেনো সৰল ৰেখা নাই,

সেয়ে জীৱনৰ পথ হ’ব ঘূৰণীয়া, জটিল,

কিনো মানে হয়?

 

*****

যিদিনাই শিকিলো টকা পইচাৰ তুলাচনিত

জুখিব জীৱনৰ মূল্যবোধ,

জীৱন হ’ল মূল্যহীন।

 

*****

মই কি বিচাৰো বুজাব ৰাইজক নহয় মোৰ কৰ্তব্য,

সকলোৱে বুজিব মোক আশা কৰাটো

মোৰ মূৰ্খতা নে ধৃষ্টতা?

 

****

আগলৈও নাই, পিচলৈও নাই, মাজত সীমিত জীৱন,

কালি সকলোৱে আকৌ আপোন পথত,

দুঘড়ীৰ বাবে কিয় এই মায়াৰ বান্ধোন?

 

Don’t ask me about past bygone

I wrote this poem a few days back in my mother tongue , অসমীয়া  (pronounced Axomiya, also known as Assamese) and translated to Bengali and shared with my friends and family. After a couple of days I translated the poem to Hindi and English in that order.  Among the four, Hindi is my weak point. Sharing all four version with English first and the others in the order written.

Ask me not what pain is hidden

Behind the smile

Past is buried today

Long forgotten

Today I have time aplenty

I wrote this poem in my mother tongue, Assamese (pronounced Axomiya – অসমীয়া) yesterday and then translated to Bengali and shared with my friends and family through Whatsapp.  I translated it to English today.  Below is the English version followed by the original Assamese and translated Bengali poem.

Phone is lying silently near me

Those would like to talk are gone now

Once lack of time was an excuse

Write me a love song

I have dabbled writing Ghazals from time to time.  A few times I had written in my mother tongue Assamese ( Axomiya) first and then translated to English.  I found that to be extremely difficult. Comparatively it is much easier ( but still difficult than writing a free format poem) to write directly in English.  In end of July i had written one in Assamese and then had translated that to Bengali.  I was trying to translate that to English and finished it today.  I am not sure if I did justice to the translation. It proved to be formidable challenge to keep the feeling intact while sticking to the rules of Ghazal.  I will leave it to the readers to judge.

I am attaching both the Assamese and Bengali versions here with the hope that some reader conversant on both ( or one) languages and English will be able to offer constructive criticism. 

Long ago asked me to write only love songs
Stories of dreamland and colorful golden nights’ love songs

Today I see darkness all around, cloud laden sky
Your wish my desire, still struggle penning love songs

Where did magic of Scheherazade’s thousand nights’ mystique vanish
Dazzlingly sparkling pearls, golden threaded necklaces of love songs

Memories of that lost evening still haunts my mind
Fingers caressing your dark tresses lovingly wrote love songs

Waves of your windswept hairs painted by setting sun
Lost myself in your curls listening to love songs

Fingers stiff, wonder why flounder today writing love songs
Reminisce golden evenings past, searching for lost love songs

কত আজি হেৰাল প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

কৈছিলা তুমি এদিন লিখিব লাগে হেনো মাথোঁ প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা
সপোন পুৰীৰ সাধুৰে ভৰা ৰঙীন সোনালী সন্ধিয়াৰ প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

মই দেখোন চৌদিশে দেখো আজি অন্ধকাৰ আকাশ, ডাৱৰে আৱৰা
ৰাখিব খুজিও মই তোমাৰ অনুৰোধ, নোৱাৰো লিখিব প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

কত বাৰু আজি হেৰাল শেহৰজাদীৰ হাজাৰ নিশাৰ মায়াবী সাধু
সোণালী সূতাৰে গঠা জিলমিলিয়া মুকুতাৰ মালাৰ মোহনীয় প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

মনৰ চকুত ভাঁহি উঠে মোৰ হেৰাই যোৱা সেই সন্ধিয়া
তোমাৰ কাজল কলা চুলিত আঙুলি বুলাই ৰচিছিলো প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

বতাহে আমনি কৰা তোমাৰ চুলিৰ লহৰত হেঙুলীয়া বেলিৰ লুকাভাকু
নিজকে হেৰাই মই কাণ পাতি শুনিছিলো যাদুকৰী প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

আজি কিয় মোৰ আঙুলি জঠৰ, নোৱাৰো লিখিব প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা
মন হেৰাই যায় অতীতৰ সোনালী সন্ধিয়াত, বিচাৰি প্ৰেমৰ কবিতা

কোথায় হারালো আজ প্রেমের কবিতা

বলেছিলে একদিন তুমি লিখি যেন আমি শুধু প্রেমের কবিতা
স্বপ্নলোকের রূপকথার যাদু ভরা রঙ্গিন সোনালী সন্ধ্যার প্রেমের কবিতা

আমিতো চৌদিশে দেখি আজ আকাশ অন্ধকার, কালো মেঘে ঢাকা
চাই যদিও রাখতে তোমার অনুরোধ, লিখিতে পারিনা প্রেমের কবিতা

কোথায় দেখি হারালো আজ শেহরজাদীর মায়াবী রাতের হাজার গল্প
সোনালী সূতোয় গাঠা রূপোলী মুক্তোর মন ভূলানো প্রেমের কবিতা

মনের মাঝে ভেসে ওঠে আমার হারিয়ে যাওয়া সেই সন্ধ্যা
তোমার কাজল কালো চুলে আঙুল বুলিয়ে লিখেছিলাম প্রেমের কবিতা

বাতাসে উড়িয়ে নেওয়া তোমার কেশর লহরে অস্তগামী সূর্যের লুকোচুরি
হারিয়ে আমাকে শুনেছিলাম সেদিন আমি শুধু মায়াভরা প্রেমের কবিতা

আজ কেন জঠর আঙ্গুল আমার, পারিনা লিখিতে প্রেমের কবিতা
মন হারায় অতীতের সোনালী সন্ধ্যায়, খুজি আমি প্রেমের কবিতা

I Search in Vain

My friend Jane (Jane Dougherty) had introduced me to writing Ghazals in English some time back.  Growing up in India, I was quite familiar to listening to ghazals but never knew that ghazals were also written in English.  During last few months, I tried my hand writing a few pieces. I either write in my mother tongue, Assamese ( Axomiya), and then translate to English or vice versa.  Last week, like a fool, I prompted Jane to write a ghazal as she had not posted a ghazal for quite some time.  She turned the table on me as she promptly wrote one and posted (Rain) and challenged me to write one. I find it very hard to follow rules while writing poetry and ghazals do have some strict rules.  I am not professing that I have followed all the rules but here is my try.  My apologies to all the purist who follow strict rules. I plead guilty to breaking the rules.

I wrote the following piece in English first and then translated to Assamese. Posting it in the same sequence.

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I Search in Vain

Just wanted to be human but society pigeonholes

Hyphenated identity breaks my heart as society pigeonholes

Vagabond (লক্ষ্যবিহীন পথিক)

I wrote this poem on Christmas Eve morning while having my breakfast. Everybody else was still enjoying their Saturday morning nap.  I wrote the poem first in my mother tongue, Assamese (Axomiya) , and then translated to English.  Posting both versions here.

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লক্ষ্যবিহীন পথিক

নাই কোনো অভিযোগ
নাই কোনো অভিলাষ
নকৰো হাবিয়াস
ঘাত প্ৰতিঘাত
ভাল আৰু বেয়াৰ সংঘাত
জীৱনৰ নাই কোনো হাত
হেৰাই যোৱা অতিত
অনাগত ভৱিষ্যত
সকলোতে মোৰেই হাতৰ ছাপ
অনাহকত জীৱনক কৰো দায়বদ্ধ
জীৱন নিজৰ পথত
বাট হেৰুওৱা
লক্ষ্যবিহীন পথিক মই

Vagabond

No complaints
No expectations
Sans desire
Bumps and bruises
Constant struggle between
Good and evil
Life has no hand
On past long lost
Nor on coming future
Everywhere I look
See my imprint
Life not responsible
For anything
Life on its own path
I
An aimless vegabond